Intentional Grandparenting: A Contemporary Guide by Peggy Edwards & Mary Jane Sterne

Author:Peggy Edwards & Mary Jane Sterne
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Fulcrum Publishing
Published: 2008-05-31T16:00:00+00:00

Principle Six

Be Playful and

Spontaneous

“Slow. Grandparents at Play.”

—Sign in a Florida mobile-­home park

There are many good reasons to be a playful and spontaneous grandparent. First and foremost, it is good for our grandchildren. Play is serious business for children. It helps them learn about ideas, language, problem solving, and relationships. Through play, children develop skills, imagination, and confidence, and find ways to express their emotions. Secondly, it strengthens our relationship with them and makes the times we spend together more fun and joyful. And, if that ­isn’t enough to convince you, consider this: playfulness and laughter are good medicine for aging adults. Think of it as internal jogging. There is ample evidence that humor, spontaneity, and play can help us live longer, healthier, and happier lives.

The young parents we talked with believe that playing with their children is one of the important ways that grandparents can support the family. Melanie suggested that grandparents share their experience and interest in things like gardening. Other young parents told us how their children look forward to visits with Grandpa or Grandma because they play special games and do activities together. Grandchildren also see playing as an important role. When asked what things they like to do with their grandparents, fishing, swimming, going to the park, and playing cards were mentioned often.

As grandparents, we have several advantages over parents. We ­don’t have to play peek­a­boo, tag, Barbies, or Monopoly every day. We ­don’t have the same time constraints as parents who run a household, work in and outside the home, and look after children twenty-­four hours a day, seven days a week. With a little planning, we can find the time to play with our grandchild at some point in a visit.

Most grandparents are healthy enough to participate in active play. In fact, a recent survey by AARP found that the majority of grandfathers participated in exercise and sports with their grandchildren (from 75 percent among those aged forty-five to forty-nine, to 67 percent among those aged eighty-plus). Over 50 percent of grandmothers also engaged in some form of physical activity with their grandchildren from time to time.

However, we older folk are not expected to roughhouse on the floor for an hour, or spike the volleyball, or perform a high dive (although some of us can and this impresses grandchildren immensely). Grandkids are happy to have us lie on the floor and cuddle, to cheer when they spike the ball, and to play judge by assigning them a score when they jump off the diving board. For all these reasons, we grandparents have a unique opportunity to use play (both active and quiet) as a way to have fun, to connect with our grandchildren, and to assist in their healthy development.

This chapter recognizes the value of play and introduces the idea of playful grandparenting—choosing to join children in their world, sometimes by literally getting down on the floor with them. Once you decide to be a playful grandparent, the rest is easy. You choose how

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